Involving Your Children In Brainstorming Sessions About Designing Their Bathroom



I know some pretty grave disciplinarians. Some of my fellow parents, and even some of my friends, spend a lot of energy punishing their children. As opposed to finding ways to work with them, they figure out ways to force them to obey blindly. I understand that it is important to have obedient children, but I think there are better ways to handle it than by punishing them. Punishment is essential, but the most important thing is to make the kid feel as though a part of his or her own life. If he or she understands that the decisions that he makes matter, he will be more apt to obey what you say. With freedom comes accountability, but with accountability also must come freedom.

I always attempt to include the children in decisions about household decorations. For example, they need to take care of cleaning the bathroom, but they get to select the kids shower curtains. They need to keep their bedrooms clean, but they get to choose children blankets. They rotate who gets to choose the kids shower curtains. This time, it is my daughter's turn. She has selected a frog shower curtain which is one of the most lovable things that I have ever seen. Her kids shower curtains will stay up for the next two weeks, during which time she has to take care of the bathroom. After that, one of the other children shower curtains gets to be put up.

I did not come to this decision randomly. I don't let them put up their own kids shower curtains because I've given up on getting them to listen to me. On the contrary, I want them to listen to me. I want to teach them that with effort comes rewards. If my son wishes to put up his lighthouse shower curtains, that's fine, but he needs to keep the tub wholly clean. If my youngest daughter wants to put up her children shower curtains, she has to try cleaning the bathroom herself.

She is very youthful, and has not been assigned chores yet, but soon she will. As opposed to dreading them, she will in fact enjoy them. She will see them as a signal that she is getting to the age where she enjoys the same rights and privileges as the older children. The children shower curtains symbolize this, as do their sheets.

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